Running. Not what you think.

Sometimes it is so easy to forget. I have become accustomed to being healthy. I forget that it used to be hard to even get dressed. It used to be hard to drive. It used to be hard to think. Seriously. It used to be hard to remember what my task was. It was hard to even hold up my head. My head felt so heavy my neck wasn’t strong enough.

On Saturday my daughter had a birthday party to go to at 6pm. They were eating pizza and then going to some fun place. My hubs and I were hoping to drop her off and go out on a date. Well, I had forgotten to pick her up a gluten free pizza. And since she has celiac this is rather vital to her health and happiness. However, we were behind schedule and to make matters tighter we had reservations at 6:30. Ideally it would be simple. In reality we had to be as fast as possible in dropping her off. BUT I had forgotten the pizza!!!! It was 6:10 and dinner was 15 min away. So my hubs dropped me off at the grocery store and the competition was to see if he could drive around the parking lot only ONCE before I made it back to him with pizza in hand.

I RAN Through that store like a crazy girl. I am sure I was annoying to people. I tried to be VERY thoughtful and give people plenty of space. Perhaps I should have been contrite at my breaking of cultural and social norms. One just does not run through a grocery store when said person is 30something and has children.

I don’t care about social norms! I am capable of running!! Yay for me!!

I couldn’t help but smile! I was so happy! I have been healthy for a little while now but wow!!!! How blessed am I to be able to run!!! How blessed I feel to be able to do all I do!!

I take care of my kids! I do yoga! I ski!!!!! I ride my bike! I get up in the morning with some gumption to do things!

Last year I rode in a 400 mile cycling relay. I rode 100 miles in 28 hours. AMAZING!! 6 years ago I could barely walk. 4 years ago I was on bedrest with my son for 7 months. A year and a half ago I had abdominal surgery and my abs were sliced in half. (hernias from the muscle weakness -because of chronic Lyme disease- and then 3 bedrest pregnancies) and I have come through to the other side!

I was running happily, easily and guess what?! We tied!! We made it to the entrance of the grocery store at the same time. The little things are the happiest reminders of how miracluous it is to be healthy!

Now I can run like a crazy lady to pick up a pizza for this beautiful chick! She has been through the thick of life with me. She deserves a gluten free pizza. Or a million of them!

Thankfully we made it to our dinner in time and I ate a delish dinner of salmon and veggies. Fabulous!

Today is a miracle. Keep the reminders coming!

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Darkness and light

There has been quite the stir here with the total eclipse! Let me just say the eclipse was amazing!!! It got dark and cold, I was flabbergasted at the contrast. Of course, I am thankful for sunshine but the truth that without the sun we wouldn’t exist has been quite poignant. I’m grateful for the sun. That idea of how wonderful the sun is, how essential the sun is, brings the opposite to mind. Living in darkness would be a world of sadness, like how living with Lyme’s Disease feels.

In the darkness of Lymes Disease, I felt hopeless and bleak. Everything that stretched in front of me was sadness and darkness. I kept the curtains drawn and my lights off because my head hurt so much. I laid awake most of the night in the silent darkness. My muscles ached and my joints were mad at me. I dreaded the day and the noise and the despair that I couldn’t help my family. I couldn’t be the person I wanted to be. The darkness in my soul was worst. Is this how my life would be lived? In the deep dark of pain.

Some days I would get out of bed in the morning with the resolution that today would be the day that I would feel better. I would make myself feel better. I would WILL myself to have energy, to walk normally. I would go to my daughters school and sit with children as they read. I WOULD BE the mother I want to be. But no matter how much I wanted to feel energetic and happy. I didn’t. I hurt everywhere. The more I moved the more pain I experienced. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to just lay. Watching tv was even too hard. Too much stimulation. Life had a bleak outlook. How could I live like this forever?

Other days I couldn’t muster the energy to try. I would just lay there on my bed. Starring blankly.

I remember the first time my husband found me like this. He had been in and out of town for a few weeks and during that time I had digressed rapidly. He had come home during the day and walked into our bedroom. He couldn’t believe my state. Ever so gently he asked me what I was doing. I replied, “I don’t feel good. This is what I do.” That’s when it became real for him. That’s when he started making new dr appointments.

6 years later I am on the other side. I did it! I am actually in the sunshine! I don’t live in pain. I don’t fake it. It’s so beautiful here in the sun. I want everyone to live in the light. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that life can feel better, not just better….. Incredible!!!!!

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Life on the lake

I grew up boating. That what summer was – swimming. We tubed, we warree on the kneeboards, we slalom skiied, we wakeboarded, we dragged behind the boat, we had water fights, we wakesurfed. We played!!!!! And played and played. We also learned how to take care of things, how to work together, to cheer for each other and how to take care of minor first aid emergencies. Boating was, well is, a major part of my life.

My dad’s best friend gave Kyle and I a wakesurf board as a wedding present. When I was 15 I fell in like with my (now) husband – on the houseboat. I had a crush on him because he was so good looking AND he could wakeboard!! Lake McClure. Where I spent my summers. Idyllic!

My growing up was a series of lakes.

Lake Shasta – so warm!

Lake Orville- wonderful friends!

Lake Naciamento- water fights in the narrows!

Lake Tulloch- where I got up on the slalom ski for the first time!

Lake McClure – where my younger brothers showed me up!

Lake Powell- cliffs, music, storms

Black Canyon- tiny space & lots of boats

Lake Lowell- going with friends!

Don Pedro- Kyle surfing for 7 miles! Cheeto commerical!!

Things started to change. My body was deteriorating. I played less and less behind the boat. I took more pictures and made excuses of why I wasn’t participating.

A few years ago I was too sick to do anything behind the boat. Even the experience of sitting there was so painful. My family tried to help and understand. They wanted so badly for me to feel well and be happy. But I was in pain. So much pain!!

One day they got me all set up for me to wakesurf. The easiest sport behind the boat. My wonderful husband and family where determined to help me play and enjoy the boat again. I got up on the board but the pain led me to instant tears. I was so mad that I couldn’t do what I wanted to. My body was weak and ill. I felt betrayed by my body and it’s incapability. That was the moment that everyone realized that I wasn’t making up this sickness. It was serious. Even though no doctor could tell me what was wrong, I was sick and it was certainly not in my mind.

We had been searching for answers and soon after this event we found a solution. I began to heal.

It has been 5 years since that day. And I have had a miracle. A slow but steady increase in vitality.

This was me this morning.

Today truly is a miracle.

We are back to Lake McClure. The lake of my teen years.

It feels amazing to be healthy! A new life! I have been given a second chance at life and I am determined to live every moment and create this wonderful life I have been given!

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Sunshine, freedom and a little flower.

Life is meant to be lived!!! I spent many years just surviving. When you don’t have health, you have one goal. To be healthy. To live.

I now have my health and I want to LIVE!! I want to experience. I have goals and dreams. TV, grocery stores, Facebook. That is not living.

Yesterday I went on a hike with my three kids. I sweater and huffed and puffed a d carried my three year old the entire time!!! He’s so cute! We went to an iconic spot to overlook our tiny metropolis. It was gorgeous and best of all there were wild flowers lining the whole trail. gorgeous. Made my week!!!

So log off, and get out!

Enjoy a walk, a flower, a hike, a little sunshine and the freedom of the outdoors. Fresh air and joy!!

If you are not feeling up to a walk-in I’ve been there. Just go sit outside and (without and distractions) enjoy the wonderment of outside!!! It will be fabulous!

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a little mental sweat

I’m practicing some self care of my mind. “I like to break a little mental sweat too.” (Movie line! Dodge Ball) love that movie.

Run, run, run.  Go, go, go.  Working, parenting, teaching, exercising, cooking, laundry, errands, run, go, check off that to do list!  Don’t add another thing to THE LIST.  Instead take something off and sit down.  Enjoy yourself a little moment to read.  It is amazing what a stop in the middle of the running can do.

This morning in my yoga class I was getting light headed and sick to my stomach.  I thought I might throw up.  Which is weird because I hadn’t eaten yet.  I had forgotten water, arrived late, so I missed the majority of the warm up.  Not a good combination.  I felt super lame because I needed to step out.  How weak.  I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to finish.  “Ah contrare!”  I stepped out to the air conditioning, took a few sips of water.  And immediately began to feel refreashed.  After a minute to let my body reestablish and cool down, I went back in and was able to complete the session with energy.! Yay!  We usually just need a short bit of time to reboot.

I found myself only reading self help, educational theory, and parenting books. I hadn’t fallen in love with a book in a while so I asked some trusted peeps and more than one recommended The Count of Monte Cristo. So this summer I started reading and wow!!!! It’s fantastic!! And super long. It will take me longer than the summer to read. It’s been a bit of a wild travel schedule this summer. So my agenda has been: cook, work, parent, launder, road trip drive — again and again and again!!! Let’s do more laundry!!!! But a few minutes here and there and given me 468 pages of reading bliss. Just a few shy of one thousand pages to go. Woohoo!

It really is incredible when I am feeling short and stressed or overwhelmed, what a few minutes can do to reset.  30 minuets is the best but I can always hide in the closet for at least 3 minutes!!

If you have 3 minutes a day for reading. I highly recommend. It’s beautiful and inspiring and WAY different/better than the fantastic movie. So ditch the dictionary, ditch the to do list, ditch the kids and relax.  Stop for a little mental sweat and enjoy!

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Laughter is the best

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We probably should have been listening in church. And we were, seriously.  The speaker was great!  But we also got a little distracted with our 12 year olds hand animations.

 

Easily distracted.  yep.

It is proven that laughter is the best medicine.  So lets lighten up and go watch the Holderness Family Youtube.  Hilarious!

 

 

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Wowza!!! Mondays come storming!!!

 

I am sitting in the parking lot of gymnastics while my 3 year old sleeps. Late nap. Bad news!!
Today:
My amazing hubs left at 4:30 AM to catch a flight. So I was awake. I had to work at 5:30 (from home in my PJs! – nice! I teach English to cute little Chinese kids online) So why go back to bed. I had a delightful hour to do whatever I wanted!! Yay! So I did some Yoga With Adrienne. Love that girl. Read some scripture and wrote in my journal. Bliss!! Then I worked until 8. My 12 year old had soccer practice at 8:15 – 20 min away. I came out in my running clothes. My incredible 3 kids were dressed and ready to go. Making breakfast. Some homemade GF whole grain English muffins. How impressive! With leftover sausage gravy. Less impressive. Yikes!

We ran out the door and got to soccer 15 min late.

I ran one mile. Go me!!! Heehee!

After soccer we ran a few return items to friends houses. Then went home and instead of showering. My oldest and I worked on some orientation stuff for her online class. 5 hours later. Seriously. We finished up for the day. I am excited about this class. It’s a leadership and self development class through Williamsburg Learning. Check it out!!! In the meantime I gave my younger two back massages. Oh yeah! Ate a dark chocolate, GF no sugar, whole grain brownie for lunch. Not the best choice. But oh well. I also made a berry, pineapple and banana smoothie. Yum!!! I signed up my 9 year old daughter for her first online science class. That’s exciting for her. She’s delighted. And bought her math books. Oh yeah. We are a crazy family and have decided to homeschool. This will be our 5th year. Why do we do this to ourselves. I don’t know!! I ask myself everyday. But strangely we love it and can’t imagine learning any other way.

My 9 year old had a friend over too and they had a picnic. So cute!

Then I went to a yoga class at 4. YES!!!!!

Done at 5.

Home too late at 5:20 and my girls were waiting for me. We dashed out! Off to soccer practice. (15 min early this time. She has two a day practices just on Mondays before school starts.) Then off to gymnastics for my nine year old. She was eleven minutes late. Sorry sweetie! My bad! Neither of us had shoes on hahahah!!!

Her gymnastics ends at 7 – drive a half hour and soccer ends at 7:30. So we’ll go there and right down from the fields there is an fantastic little taco truck. Dinner. I love little chicken street tacos.

Home

Fall into bed. Quite the yang day. Tomorrow will be a yin day.

Tomorrow we have no plans! Well I AM getting a hair cut!! Yay for me!! A little pampering. Oh yeah!

I love Tuesdays. It is our plan nothing, day at home. Rest day! Hubbs will be home!

But I don’t have to work in the morning so I’ll sneak out and hit a yoga session! A little more pampering!

How’s the balance? Yin yang? Work and rest? Give and take. The pendulum swings!

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9:34 pm update:  We made it at 7:37 to that glorious taco truck, walked up bare foot with three FAMISHED kids in tow.  Gave our much desired order …. and I had forgotten my wallet at home.  I had my purse.  No wallet.  Left it by the computer because I had been buying that lame math workbook.  lame.

We had left overs, ah the wonders of left overs.  Spaghetti squash with marinara sauce and a brocoli floret each!  And some watermelon, becauase every meal in the summer needs watermelon.

Soccer comes again on Wednesday.  So look out taco truck!!  I might go taco crazy!

Now I am going to read a book. Or probably fall asleep, who am I kidding!

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